jayparkinsonmd:

I really like the new NYC Department of Health subway ads. Often, awareness is the first step.

<3! Good thing I don’t like sweet tea anyway.

mrsniffen:

Ms. Mayer, Empress of all Yahoo!,

Hello. My name is Tim Sniffen. I’ve been a Yahoo! junior server administrator for eleven years.

It was with a stab of terror that I read your memo asking “all employees with work-from-home arrangements to work in Yahoo! offices.” I realize we’re in a time of crucial transition, and many people will benefit from more personal contact and unscheduled brainstorming sessions.

I am not one of those people.

Ms. Mayer, you do not want me in your office.

For eleven years I have worked at home, thrilled with the arrangement Yahoo! provided. Free from distractions, free from traffic. Free from the burning, judgmental stares of other humans, from the deafening roar of each one drawing breath into their lumbering carcass.

Personal contact, Ms. Mayer? The darkness is my companion now. That’s all the contact I need.

To be clear, where I work should no longer be described as a “home”, but more a “Bunker of dark Elven magic.” Eleven years have allowed me to transform this garden apartment into the perfect symbiotic workspace, drawing from the best aspects of the Batcave (Burton-era), Tony Stark’s workshop, Cerebro, and the Batcave (Nolan-era).

From my motorized chair/exoskeleton I can maintain every server on the grid. Displays on hovering glass panels indicate data flow, cloud assets, employee location and emotional state. (Green = joy. Blue = despair.) Having tied all system function to eye movement, I can work up to fourteen days completely motionless, aided by the feeding and waste removal tubes in my lower back. (Once I emerged from a coding bender with a fine, downy moss on my legs and trunk, a colony of moths in my hair. Are you honestly ready to bring such a symphony of efficiency to a halt?)

Obviously you know the need to customize one’s work environment. The nursery connected to your office is common knowledge. Now instead of a nursery, imagine a one-tenth scale LEGO model of Rivendell (yes, including the broken sword of Elendil – this isn’t amateur hour) and you see why I can’t just fill a cardboard box and show up on Monday.

In your cursed memo, you mention the need of “physically being together.” Marissa, I assure you, I will be there. On every conference call; in every web cam, activated or not; behind nearly all the building’s mirrors. I will be there.

But from the incantations I must speak over my equipment each morning to prevent its’ gaining sentience and rebelling, to the thick smoke produced by sunlight interacting with my skin, you do not want me in your office.

Ms. Mayer, don’t drag Colonel Kurtz down river. Leave this alone.

If you agree to my request, simply say “yes” out loud. I will hear.

 

 

Still proud to be a Yahoo! even if I’ve long forgotten what it is to be human,

Tim Sniffen

 

 

 

PS: I didn’t leak the memo.

PPS: As a server admin, I know who did.

PPPS: I’m already blackmailing them for several other things, so releasing their name to you at this point would upset our complicated agreement.

PPPPS: Is it way too late to take the ! out of our name? I always feel compelled to shout it. Granted, with larynx atrophy it only comes out as an anguished gurgle. Still. 

BBC News - ‘Batman’ brings in suspect to Bradford police

bryanwaterman:

Al Hansen, Homage to the Girl of Our Dreams, 1966, Hershey Bar wrappers collaged onto wood. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, George Maciunas Memorial Collection. via.

How beautiful!

smartercities:

‘Bioconcrete’ Uses Bacteria to Heal Self | ThisBigCity

No product evokes a sense of solidity and sturdiness the way concrete does. However, the tiniest of cracks in an otherwise colossal slab will inevitably lead to structural degradation, leakages and costly repairs.

It is precisely this problem that two Dutch researchers from Delft Technical University have been working on. Beginning in 2006, Henk Jonkers, a microbiologist, and Eric Schlangen, a specialist in concrete development, sought to develop a self-healing cement [pictured] that would stop cracks from forming in the concrete, thereby extending the life of constructions.

(via emergentfutures)

(via I almost cried after reading this… - Imgur)

DM: Charlie, why did you make such an audacious promise?

CK: I always thought we were a company with a strong focus on people, and it was for that reason that I advocated “fast firing” — if you knew someone wasn’t working out, don’t prolong the agony. Allowing bad behavior to perpetuate is one of the worst things you can do for team performance. DM: What made you change your mind?

CK: I was talking with Bob Chapman, CEO of Barry-Wehmiller at Massive, a gathering organized by Simon Sinek, and Bob challenged me on this point and asked me how I’d like my son to be fired by someone in the future. That floored me. Being fired is a highly traumatic emotional event. It’s the equivalent of being told “you are no good.”

DM: How did you announce the change?

CK: First, I did nothing for six months except think about it. We wargamed different scenarios and realized this policy would fundamentally affect everything we did. Every personnel hiring, training, and managing policy was reviewed.

Take hiring for example. Once you realize that you are entering into a lifelong relationship, hiring starts to look a lot more like adoption, or dating. Multiple interactions over some time are required before our team would get comfortable with a prospective hire. Every hiring manager started hiring more carefully, something I’d been advocating for but couldn’t make happen in every manager. Without further direction, they started treating hiring like adoption: once we take someone into our family, they’re here for life, when things don’t work, they’re responsible for training them, helping them. Training also became much more comprehensive, touching subjects such as character, grit, and integrity in ways we had previously viewed as beyond the scope of company training.

NextJump CEO, Charlie Kim, talks about how his company embraced a No Fire Policy. I.e., they recruit people for keeps. Ballsy move.

(Source: davidmarquet.com)

buzzfeed:

23 Famous Movies And Songs Reenacted In Emojis

This is how I’m doing karaoke next time

stoweboyd:

(via Third - 3 in 1 Cutlery by Bozzai Krisztina » Yanko Design)

oh, so brilliant!

garychou:

My awesome teammates got me a cake!

laughingsquid:

If I Wrote Fortune Cookies

(Source: pleatedjeans)

pheezy:

Castle. by kenyatta http://instagr.am/p/U6o-Uulrpw/

Hi @slavin_fpo!

it8bit:

His and Hers Bedroom Decor

Available for $9.99 USD at 1622.

:( no single-player mode?

(via thenextweb)

laughingsquid:

A Nutritional Guide to Popular Food in Video Games

brilliant!